Sadness
Hmmm... no update for 9 days, and no-one getting on my back about it either... ah well.
Well, dad has moved out. And it's strange. i mean, i knew it was going to happen, i just never realised thar it was going to happen if you get what i mean. Physically, i knew that he was going to move out, and had gotten a new house, and heck i was even helping to start to decoate my room and everything, but on Tuesday when he said that that night would be the last he spent there, it was a shock. And it was an even bigger shock on Wednesday when he said that he was going round to the house, and would most likely see me the next day. That just proved to me that psychologically i was no-where near prepared for this whole thing. So now i get to spend the next 2 weeks at my mums, the first week with the siblings then the second week just me and her. And that is going to be extremely wired too.
So anyway, on Thursday, just before leaving for school, dad calls round with my uncle who has come up to help him move to await the movers. So i went off to school, then went up to my dads after and helped to unpack the kitchen. Dad then decides that he needs to go back to my mums house to tidy up a little. Isn't it bad enough that he's moved out? He has to keep going between the houses, paying visits and the like. I sometimes wish that he would just stay put so i can get used to him not being at home. See, now that is incorrect, as what has been "home" for the last 11 and a bit years has suddenly become "mum's", and i can't get used to the change.
It's stange. Sometimes i miss being at my dad's because i feel more home there than here. Mainly because whn i go over there, there isn't any furniture missing, whereas here, i go into any room downstairs and there is furniture missing. And it's just the little things aswell. Like he's taken the CD player out of the lounge. Not that i tended to play CDs in the lounge, but to not have to actually player there is wired. I dunno. i guess i just feel a little lost, and, well homesick. Which makes absolutely no sense whatsoever, but it is how i feel. Maybe i'm just going crazy. I mean, i could already be named as clinically depressed. And the more i think about it in any way shape or form the more depressed i seem to become. And it's not like i can just escape it all, y'know? Even if i was to go round to a friends house, it doesnt change what is going on at home. Except i dont know what home is anymore.
Well, dad has moved out. And it's strange. i mean, i knew it was going to happen, i just never realised thar it was going to happen if you get what i mean. Physically, i knew that he was going to move out, and had gotten a new house, and heck i was even helping to start to decoate my room and everything, but on Tuesday when he said that that night would be the last he spent there, it was a shock. And it was an even bigger shock on Wednesday when he said that he was going round to the house, and would most likely see me the next day. That just proved to me that psychologically i was no-where near prepared for this whole thing. So now i get to spend the next 2 weeks at my mums, the first week with the siblings then the second week just me and her. And that is going to be extremely wired too.
So anyway, on Thursday, just before leaving for school, dad calls round with my uncle who has come up to help him move to await the movers. So i went off to school, then went up to my dads after and helped to unpack the kitchen. Dad then decides that he needs to go back to my mums house to tidy up a little. Isn't it bad enough that he's moved out? He has to keep going between the houses, paying visits and the like. I sometimes wish that he would just stay put so i can get used to him not being at home. See, now that is incorrect, as what has been "home" for the last 11 and a bit years has suddenly become "mum's", and i can't get used to the change.
It's stange. Sometimes i miss being at my dad's because i feel more home there than here. Mainly because whn i go over there, there isn't any furniture missing, whereas here, i go into any room downstairs and there is furniture missing. And it's just the little things aswell. Like he's taken the CD player out of the lounge. Not that i tended to play CDs in the lounge, but to not have to actually player there is wired. I dunno. i guess i just feel a little lost, and, well homesick. Which makes absolutely no sense whatsoever, but it is how i feel. Maybe i'm just going crazy. I mean, i could already be named as clinically depressed. And the more i think about it in any way shape or form the more depressed i seem to become. And it's not like i can just escape it all, y'know? Even if i was to go round to a friends house, it doesnt change what is going on at home. Except i dont know what home is anymore.
posted by Chibi at
5:20 am
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